Season of Silence

I know it has been a long time since I posted a blog. I have been busy tired and had a lot going on. Still it has been nagging at me that I need to post for those of you who keep up with my life this way.

So lessee... Updates on mission work. Well now that we feel that Alaska is the place for us we are finding obstacles and issues that are showing us it is probably going to be a while before we can go up there full time. Obstacle number one is our "divorced in the past" status. The sending agency that goes to Alaska doesn't take divorcees no matter what the circumstance etc. However we have been told that their board is all due to retire and they are the only ones who want to keep this rule in effect. So in 3-4 years they will start to allow divorced people to serve. In the meantime we have aplenty of stuff to do. Debt to pay off, training and schooling to complete and a vision trip to take (we are hoping to do that next year). So we are trusting God and continuing to be patient knowing that everything will happen in his time.

How am I doing... Well its been a really bad year. I sometimes feel like grief has become a companion of mine, grief over my cat who died, my illness returned, a good friend who lost his battle to cancer, my weight returned, then most recently our sweet dog who died. Plus I have had to face some truths in areas of my life I did not want to look at, and it caused the death of some personal dreams and hopes, I am grieving those too though I didn't know I would. The came the realization that I am not well enough to sing in the Glory of Christmas. So mostly right now this is a time for rest and recovery for me.

I am still struggling with the mono and it really is because I had not given in and decided that I am just going to rest until I am healed and ready. I went too see my doctor again today. When we talked he told me that I need to rest until my blood results are back to normal - then I can start increasing my activity again. Previously I have started to do more whenever I feel a little better and that is what is sinking me. So he drew some more blood to run the usual tests and put me on a couple more supplements to help boost my immune system and told me to come back next month.

On the positive side, the Lifeshare ladies retreat was so wonderful for me last weekend. I felt that I could get regrounded and back on better terms with the God who I sometimes feel angry at on and off for this past year. The truth is I know how much he loves me - he proves it over and over again with answered prayers and just the fact that I am so blessed in my life with wonderful friends and family. I was reminded that I need to thank God for my mono and the really try more to accept this as a season of rest he is giving to me. After all I am not in pain, or really incapacitated, I am just tired and weak and sometimes achy. This is a way for me really to look up and rely more on his strength instead of mine.

I am enjoying helping out in an administrative role for GoC and every time I get weepy or sad when I am not singing - I pray, thank God for rest and move on to something else I need to do. I am feeling more at peace and I know that God has everything under control - even when I don't understand any of it!

So anyway that is my life update, and I will post again when I can and when I have something new to report!