Trying hard not to be disappointed!

Well I went to the doctor earlier this month. I was feeling so much better with changing my diet and plenty of rest. I thought for sure I was done with this mono thing. Ok so maybe I am done with it, but I got my test results yesterday and it is not done with me!

Everything actually is better, my T- cells are all up to low normal but My CRP (the test that is supposed to be under 1) is still 15 which means the virus is still active in my body - though improved test results say my body is slowly winning out( my last CRP was 26.5). So three to six more months on medication and continued good diet and rest is where I am at. I really want to be able to do GoC without risking yet another relapse.

I have mixed feelings of the news - yeah God to getting better and woah me to not being completely well. I guess I had expected it really. For the past 2 weeks I have been going full throttle with choir and other activities and I have felt tired again. I wanted it to be lack of sleep, but the test results prove - nope its lack of rest and doing too much. So I am back to fighting with myself to rest and not do too much.

Why is it so hard for me to rest, I feel like I am built to just go all the time, but God mandated a day of rest. I need to start following that mandate and taking one day off. My biggest wish right now is a few days away from the kids. Just me or just me and Brad where I can just rest, relax and let my body get an even stronger grip on the mono. Worst thing is this is not really going to happen with financial constraints and lack of a sitter for the kids.

So I will continue to pray, check myself that I am actually resting and know that I am getting better! I also know that I have much more sympathy (or is it empathy) for those with lingering illnesses like this. I have rarely been sick in my life and spending over a year like this has taught me a lot. Yet again Romans 8:28 applies! Good has already come of this illness and I know that God has only my best interested at heart... All I need to do is learn from every situation!