Priorities

Several months ago I was reading Facebook and there was a discussion about a comment by a mom about her kids always come first.  What a sad commentary this is on the state of our lives today and what will these priority children be like when they grow up?

I have been taught that personal priorities should coincide with making the best life that you can for all the people involved therefore the real truth about children is they come third!

Wow third, some parents can't believe I would be so neglectful of my own children, but in all honesty putting them third opens them up to a wonderful  balanced life.  My first priority in my life needs to be God, spending time with him, living my life by his wishes and teaching my kids to do the same.  My second priority needs to be my husband.  The truth is that kids who grow up in a stable marriage household do so much better in so many ways that kids who do not.  And having a healthy marriage is one of the best things you can do for your kids. So the marriage has to come before the kids.

Most people know what needs to be done in a relationship with God, so I am not going to go into that here, plus I am in no way qualified to give advice on that area.  But conversly most people do not seem to know what it takes to make a good marriage.  Let me qualify that by giving you my definition of a healthy marriage.  A marriage that is healthy is one in which both people enjoy spending time together and would choose each others company over any one elses, basically that you ar ein love with each other and stay that way, not only loving but being "In LOVE" as we tend to put it nowadays.  The first year of the majority of marriages and the entire dating relationship are good examples of what I want my marriage to be.  A marriage where sex is good, frequent and enjoyed mutually by both partners.  A marriage where things can be discussed and mutually agreed upon.  I do NOT have this marriage.  I love my husband immensely and I enjoy spending time with him, but he is not always my favorite person to spend time with and as far as sex is concerned it has become more of a way to keep him happy than a way for us to express our love.  We do really well at agreeing on things and taking care of each other but the *falmes of desire* have long since turned to the warm glow of mutual love and respect.  The problem is I want the Falmes as well as the warm glow.

Enter,  one of the best books on marriage I have ever read (which is saying a lot becuase I am a marriage bookworm and I tend to buy all kinds of books about marraige and devour them.  Proably one of the reasons our marriage is as good as it is :D.  Anyhow this book is called "His Needs Her Needs"  By Willard F. Harely Jr.  I read it cover to cover the first time I opened it and I realized that I can have my honeymoon marriage back, even after 12 years and 2 kids.  I mean sometimes I get the honeymoon back for a time here and there but I want it most of the time!!  I am so excited about his process that I began talking to my husband about it immediately and I bought 3 more of his books, a work book, the book on Love Busters and "His Needs Her Needs for Parents".  We are going to use the workbook "The Five Steps to Romantic Love" to rekindle our marriage and keep it strong for the rest of our lives.  I challenge you to do the same.